David Gracey

David Gracey

David Gracey

Head of Foreign Exchange and Fixed Income Trading

Welcome to Tops and Bottoms

• I have been writing currency comments for so long that sometimes it’s a little difficult to write about new things to explain the vagaries of our markets. 

• For the reader this must also get a little boring because there are so many commentaries out there that one always runs the risk of regurgitating ideas and thoughts that have already been published elsewhere.

• How many ways can one describe the market?

• The Rand did this because some politician or central banker did that. The Dollar is strong because something else is weak, and so on and so forth. It can all be pretty yawn inducing and tedious.

• In an attempt to give the market a personality we often refer to currencies as characters. For example, the Rand is colloquially known as the Rattler, for its ability to strike back just when you think the fight is over.

• The Mexican Peso we call the Mongoose ….because its darts around so much.

• Multiple personality disorder, Bipolar disorder, extreme anxiety ….it’s all been in all my commentaries over the years.

• And it gets more and more difficult to describe market moves in such a way as to keep the reader engaged.

• And then I heard an old song on the radio the other day which gave me an idea.

• Chris De Burgh actually wrote some good music back in the day (despite everyone's favorite schmaltz). And the song that inspires today's musings is about a stripper named  Patricia. A song that has been the backdrop to thousands of bachelor parties in years gone by.

• Now I want to stress to all my readers that I have never actually patronized such an establishment (cough cough), and that all my knowledge about today's topic comes only from TV shows and movies. 

• To help you understand the personality of the markets, imagine the market as a Strip Club. 

• And this club can only be called by one name ….

• Welcome to “Tops and Bottoms”

• Let me introduce you to some of our artists and performers.

• Up on stage we have “Voluptuous Vixxy Volatility”. This lady will make promises and has moves that are only designed for one thing. She will empty your wallet faster than you can say lap dance. She will tempt and tease, and her violent moves will make you crazy. Just as you think you have come to terms with one of her tricks she will turn around and make an exit with your cash, only to go and entice some other poor patron and do the same thing to them. She is hard to read and once you eventually exit the club, penniless, you can only wonder why you ever got involved. The music she uses is mostly ACDC, and her favorite track is “Highway to Hell”

• If you are lucky enough you may encounter “Tamara Trend” at our club. She dances to the sweet soulful sounds of Coltrane. Tamara is often seen actually giving her customers money. She feels sorry for the patrons. Every now and again though, her mood changes ….you have to be aware because when it changes it can be devastating. You can be tricked into thinking you are still watching Tamara ….but you fail to realize that Vixxy is back. 

• We also have “Crazy Curvy Cindy” working at our club.  Cindy looks innocent, but lurking underneath all those curves is a little manic personality that will go off a tangent for no apparent reason. When she comes out to perform it's best to leave the club. For sure fights are going to break out and the pickpockets will come out to take advantage of the chaos. Cindy's performance will leave you beaten and bruised. She likes to dance to the soothing tones of  Rammstein. Her performance makes no sense and trying to follow her moves will leave you bewildered and confused.

• This being an equal opportunity club we also have a male performer. Meet “Gyrating Giovanni”. He only has one move, he stands in one spot swiveling his hips. It's actually very boring as he moves to the sounds of Richard Clayderman. Just when you think it’s going to get interesting  Giovanni gyrates back to his original position. This is not a market you want to be involved in.

• Our final performer is “Pole Jack Polly”. Man alive, she moves up and done the pole more swiftly than you can keep track of. Just when you’ve seen her at the top of the pole and have become comfortable with her in that position she drops down at the speed of sound leaving you wondering where all your money has gone. Her favored soundtrack is a mixed tape of Fighters from Foo and Motley Crue.  It can be enticing, but more often than not the movement leaves you Epileptic and dazed.

• Of course we have “support staff” in our club. 

• The bouncers and barmen are the Central Bankers and policy makers. They try to keep order in the club, but often their very behavior is the cause of all the chaos.

• The owners are the politicians. Their only objective is to make sure that you leave the establishment poorer than when you arrived. They tax you at will. But the bright lights and the thrill keep bringing you back.

• Welcome to “Tops and Bottoms”. We hope you enjoyed your visit.