David Gracey

David Gracey

David Gracey | Head of Foreign Exchange and Fixed Income Trading

Weddings-who needs them?

  • Oh, how I detest politicians. So much.
  • I know, I know, I’m like an old vinyl stuck on the opening guitar solo, but I can’t help myself.
  • Here in South Africa, we are all guests at the most awkwardly arranged marriage wedding reception.
  • There is one groom and nine brides, all smiling and trying to be nice at first. In reality no one really wants to get married, but it is what it is.
  • The guests just want to get on with the party, but the uncles can’t decide who is going to make the speeches, and in what order.
  • Bride number one is trying hard to assert her dominance because she seems to be the prettiest and most appealing.
  • The Groom knows there are another two side chicks just waiting to be admitted, and the other eight brides are just happy to be there. Their dresses are a little hastily put together and the DJ is off on the side talking to the barman because he can’t be bothered to spin the disks.
  • The groom’s family are split between inviting the side chicks in to liven things up a bit, and ogling bride number one, uncertain about how she is going to behave in the marriage, demanding all sorts of things that are bound to put the relationship/s under stress.
  • The food is getting cold, and the prawns are turning sour.
  • Speaking of uncles. Did anyone watch the two geriatrics “do battle” last night in the mighty US of A.
  • The one uncle used to be quite popular and athletic, but sadly time has not been kind. He seemed to be confused as to why he was there.
  • I don’t want to be condescending to geriatrics (I am one), but the only thing missing was a bit of flatulence and the occasional inappropriate minority joke.
  • The other uncle is the king of hyperbole, and he has made lying an art form. No sentence can be completed without “the best/or worst in history”.
  • He is the Monet of telling porkies and sounds like a 1980’s “wenwe” Rhodesian.
  • “When I was President, we had the best of everything, we had the best (nonexistent paid for by Mexicans) wall ever built. Blah blah blah, hot air, bombastic, I’m the best yawn zzzz.
  • The only thing you are the best at “in history” is making up stories about electric boats and sharks, and which one is worse for you.
  • XI, Putin and a few right-wing dictators can’t believe what Democracy has gifted them. Either one of these candidates who will become the next “commander in Chief” will be making their opponents shake in their boots – with laughter glee and mirth.
  • Biden is done …he may not even be the DNC’s candidate at this rate.
  • Pretty soon we will have an election in the UK. I can’t wait.
  • The Tories are done – they may as well concede and save the UK a few hundred million pounds in taxpayers funds.
  • France and Europe – the nationalist lunatics are on the rise.
  • Globalization is done. Compromise is done. Rationality is done.
  • And on that note – I am done.
  • I am going to watch the Proteas stop choking and win the world cup. I’m going to watch Brad Binder win his race. There are at least some South Africans doing well. They deserve our attention.