Online gaming safety: protect your child while they play

Your child is absorbed in an online game. Another player praises their skills, offers a virtual gift and begins chatting regularly. Then the questions become more personal: Which school do you attend? Can we talk on WhatsApp? Send me a photo. Do not tell your parents.

What looked like part of the game has become private access to your child.

What makes online gaming risky?

Many online games are also social spaces. Players can communicate through text, voice chat and linked platforms, often without knowing who is behind a username or an avatar.

A person presenting as another child may gradually build trust before asking for personal information, contact details, photos or secrecy.

“It’s absolutely critical to have some level of vision, some level of oversight when children are playing games online,” says Ndivhuwo Mulaudzi, cybersecurity awareness specialist at Investec.

Mulaudzi says children need to know they can report an uncomfortable conversation to you without being blamed or losing access to every device before they have explained what happened.

If you remember one thing

Make yourself the person your child can tell. A warning about strangers or a privacy setting cannot protect a child who is too frightened or ashamed to ask for help.

Emma Sadlier-Berkowitz, founder of the Digital Law Company, reiterates the importance of trust between parent and child. “There is no substitute for open, honest conversations. The first line of defence and the best line of defence is active, involved, engaged, aware parents.”

How you can tell whether a game is suitable

Start with the game’s age rating, but do not stop there. Check whether it includes open chat, voice communication, user-generated games or links to other platforms.

Resources such as Common Sense Media can help parents understand the content and contact risks before a child starts playing. A game that looks harmless may contain thousands of experiences created by other users, each with different themes and interactions.

The device, the game and the way a child uses it all matter. As Sadlier-Berkowitz puts it, “Not all screen time is created equal”.

What should your child know before logging on:

• Keep personal information private. Do not share a full name, school, address, phone number, daily routine or live location with another player.
• Treat gifts and flattery with caution. A compliment or in-game gift does not prove that the person offering it is a friend or even another child.
• Pause when a chat moves elsewhere. A request to switch to WhatsApp, Discord (a free communication app favoured by gamers) or another private channel can be an attempt to move the conversation away from the game’s safeguards.
• Keep photos and passwords private. A genuine friend will not ask for photos or login details as proof of trust. Never let anyone use your account, even to collect rewards or keep your progress going. Use a strong, unique password and enable two-factor authentication.

Children should feel empowered to say no. “If anybody asks you for anything that you don’t feel comfortable sending, you just say ‘no’ and block them,” says Sadlier-Berkowitz.

Why privacy settings are not enough

Review who can contact your child, join a game, send invitations or see profile information. Device controls can limit downloads and playing time, while some monitoring tools can alert parents to bullying, grooming, self-harm content or other worrying language.

You can install apps like Bark, a parental control app that alerts you to potential risks, by monitoring children’s messages and activity on supported apps and social platforms.

Use these tools openly. Explain that the purpose is to make gaming safer, not to catch a child out. “Establish trust first. Once you’ve got that in place, the tooling starts coming into play,” says Mulaudzi.

Remember, controls cannot cover every device your child may use at school, at a friend’s house or elsewhere.

Where possible, keep gaming in a shared part of the home and remove devices from bedrooms overnight. Sadlier-Berkowitz’s rule is non-negotiable. “No tech in the bedrooms, ever.”

Signs that something may be wrong

Watch for a marked change in mood, sleep, school performance or interest in offline activities. A child may become angry, anxious or withdrawn, hide a screen when you enter the room, resist handing over a device or spend unusual amounts of time on an app that appears unrelated to gaming.

These signs do not prove that someone is targeting your child. They are a reason to check in.

“If they start having a change in behaviour, that’s a very big red flag that parents should not miss out on. And it’s always a great place to start a conversation with them,” says Mulaudzi.

What should you do if your child tells you something’s wrong

Listen before reacting. Thank your child for telling you and make it clear that they are not responsible for another person’s manipulation, threats or demands. Avoid beginning with blame or an automatic punishment, which may make them less likely to disclose the next problem.

If it is safe to do so, preserve messages, usernames and screenshots before blocking and reporting the account. Review privacy settings and change any password that was shared or reused.

If the contact involves threats, extortion, sexual content or an attempt to meet, report it to the platform and seek appropriate professional or law-enforcement help.

“In a time of crisis, that’s when your children need you the most,” says Sadlier-Berkowitz. The aim is to stop the contact, protect the child and keep the route back to you open.

Agree on the rules before your child plays

Decide together which games are allowed, who may make contact and where gaming can happen. Agree that requests for secrecy, personal details, private contact, photos or passwords must be brought to a trusted adult.

Review the rules as your child grows and as games change. Online safety does not require parents to understand every game or platform.

It requires enough involvement to notice when something changes, enough curiosity to keep learning and a relationship in which a child can say, without fear, that something online does not feel right.